Let’s start by answering this question for those who may not know…
What the heck is a first look??
The first look is when the couple decides to see each other for the first time on their wedding day before the ceremony, instead of traditionally at the ceremony. The photographer captures the intimate moment, sometimes getting very emotional reactions.
First and foremost, (disclaimer) consult with your photographer to make an informed decision on what is best for your wedding day! For this post, we want to share the pros and cons of first looks from OUR point of view as a Hudson Valley Wedding Venue.
For those who are new visitors, allow us to do a quick intro. We are The Preston Barn, a barn wedding venue in the beautiful Hudson Valley, set on the property of the historic Old Drovers Inn in Dover Plains, New York. Weekend weddings are our specialty as we can host all pre and post-wedding events from rehearsal dinner to a send-off brunch.
The Inn is included with our wedding packages and we have additional housing on and off-site. We have modern amenities, a woodsy atmosphere, rustic style, INCREDIBLE food (just check out our testimonials for proof) and customization options for every couple. In addition to locals, many of our couples come from New York City and the Burroughs, looking for a complete weekend getaway for them and their guests… and we give it to them!
Okay, so now you know what a first look is, and you know who we are, so let’s get into the pros and cons of doing a first look on your wedding day!
Pros
Why would a couple want to see each other before the ceremony?
To Save Time
We’ve all seen it happen. The couple misses the entire cocktail hour because they had to run off to do family photos, wedding party photos, and their private photos, all in one hour! This is the number one reason that couples do a first look and why it is so highly recommended. Doing all of their portraits and wedding party photos before the ceremony allows them to enjoy most of their cocktail hour with their guests after a few quick family shots.
Your closest family and friends will appreciate this too, as photos during cocktail hour take up a lot of their time as well. Of course, they will do whatever makes you happy. Coordinators and planners sometimes appreciate it because they won’t have to chase around the wedding party or hunt down family members as they wander off for drinks and food.
Less Pressure on the Couple (and Photographer)
A first look eliminates the feeling of having to rush through photos and instead, you can take a little more time and get all the photos you and your photographer planned for, and in multiple locations (we have many great photo spots here at the barn so our couples really like the sound of that).
It eliminates some of the nerves you may feel before you walk down the aisle.
It allows your photographer to get photos of guests, food, and pretty details during cocktail hour. If you have candles in the reception decor, the photographer needs to get in there during cocktail hour to get the room shots with the warm candlelight.
Sharing an intimate moment
On the wedding day, you are on a tight schedule. A first look is a great way to share a few moments alone before all the guests arrive and the party begins. You can share in an emotional moment, tell each other how you are feeling, hug, kiss, and all that other mushy, beautiful stuff. You don’t really get to do that at the ceremony and then after that, getting moments alone is a lot less likely.
While these are all great reasons to do a first look, they aren’t for everyone. And that’s totally okay!
CONS
Why would a couple NOT do a first look?
Traditions
Tradition plays a role in everyone’s lives, but some traditions are more important to some. You might want to have that special moment of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony. Maybe your wedding is in a church and you always wanted that moment as they open the church doors and you both look at each other at the same time. You should have at least two photographers on the team to capture both reactions and some guest reactions as well.
Your vision includes all your guests watching the looks on your faces and sharing that moment with them. Some guests really look forward to that moment and want to share in that emotion with you too.
By the way, if you are a Preston Barn couple, no need to worry about missing the food from cocktail hour. Our coordinator makes sure you get to indulge in all that deliciousness when you are ready.
Getting Ready Earlier
Having a first look in the schedule means having to be completely ready earlier in the day. You want to do it at least 1½ hours before the ceremony. If you are especially emotional, maybe you want to start sooner so you can touch up your look before the ceremony.
This means starting to get ready earlier, and if your ceremony is earlier in the day, that could mean waking up seriously early (we do NOT want you sleepy at your reception, you need that rest so you can PARTY!).
For some, it’s just plain awkward.
It’s totally okay if the first look is just simply not your style. We have heard couples say that they don’t want that because they aren’t very emotional people and they just don’t know how to react. You might prefer to have that moment shared with your guests to relieve the pressure of having to react a certain way. You can react silently and with just a smile that says all you need to say.
Of course, you could always eliminate the awkward by getting silly first!
Here’s a fun alternative: Do a first look with a parent! We’ve had a few couples who wanted the tradition of keeping the first look at the ceremony, so instead, they did a first look with the bride and her father. These are so sweet!
So those are our thoughts on the subject!
But we asked some other wedding professionals to give us their thoughts as well:
“The first look allows for them to feel less nervous when seeing each other, get comfortable with photo/video, and most of all have a pretty private moment to see each other and share that joy with words. It doesn't make it any less special when they see each other down the aisle, because it's in front of so many people (often blocking views!), a veil/other accessories have changed the moment, and the actual buildup still makes it amazing. It's kind of like getting double the joy--one private and one in front of loved ones!” -Kathryn, Kathryn Cooper Weddings (Wedding Photographer)
“Best reason for no first look - tradition. Best reason for a first look -the extra time permits flexibility and adjustments, and less stress for all as the day goes on -and the couple gets to enjoy their cocktail hour.” -Bill, Starlight Wedding Films
“From a timeline perspective, I also feel that it works much better to do the longer couple portrait session before the ceremony. They're being pulled in less directions giving the photographer more time to shoot in multiple locations.” -Sarah, Small Shindigs (Wedding Planner)
As you can see, first looks do come highly recommended by wedding professionals, but it is ultimately up to you! Take the time together to think about what is most important to you, what your options are, and consult with your photographer (and planner if you have one) before making a decision.
Whatever you decide, your venue and team of professionals will make it happen. Our team will work with whatever you choose to do and we make sure you stay happy with that decision by adapting our services and timeline accordingly.
For more info about The Preston Barn or to book a tour (we can do virtual tours as well), Contact Us.
